i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
