Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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