i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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