She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
