The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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