why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
