I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
