u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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