If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
