did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
