So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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