sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
i need to put some appletini on your dick
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
