Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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