I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Is it penis luge time yet?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
