Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i drank out of a bidet.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
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Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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