I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
