I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
