that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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