I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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