this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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