sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
