Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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