I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
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