Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
