I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
