You're completely useless in the revolution.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
