I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
