Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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