2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize