The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
