guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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