I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I can't put those talents on a resume
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
