I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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