i just wanna soil my oats bro
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
