I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
