Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I have aggressive nipples.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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