Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
