I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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