Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
