whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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