video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
