i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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