College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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