I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
