I want to have your abortion
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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