I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
