glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
