I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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