My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
