i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
