Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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