If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
