I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
