you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
