bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
