The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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