Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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