2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize