Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
