I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
