he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We are two peas in an std pod
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
