i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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