You just made me feel so damn special
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
