Betty ford says i'm here all night
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
