My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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