sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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