But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
