i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
