You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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