absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
