I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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